Genre: Dark Humor, Movie Trailer, Satire, Dogboy
2 minute read | Short Stories | Fiction | By: Jon Brast
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From the makers that brought you “The Island of Dr. Moreau” comes…
DOGBOY Movie: ORIGINS
Starring Patrick Stewart as Dr. Panos
A once renowned genetic scientist known as Dr. Panos masquerades as a Sasquatch in this epic story of pleasure and bestiality. He not only catches a Sasquatch, but he shamefully performs coitus with one and gets it pregnant, only to create a new breed of Super human-Sasquatch hybrids.
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Sasquatch have survived Billions of years, outliving the dinosaurs, insects, and hopefully outliving mankind, according to Dr. Panos. His efforts are valiant but are also extremely disturbing. He bravely uses his own children as bait to lure Sasquatch into his disgraceful habitat of sexual heresy. His natural children do not survive, but his legacy will live on in infamy.
He successfully impregnates a Sasquatch, but nothing could ever prepare mankind for what he has created, an elite breed of super beasts he calls Mansquatch. The infusion of human and Sasquatch DNA created something unstoppable, capable of mating with any two or four legged creature on the planet. Mansquatch shoots pungent chemicals from its nipples with the equivalent potency of Bill Cosby’s Quaaludes, putting its prey in a state of petrified serenity.
Dogboy Movie Dialogue:
“Dr. Panos, what the hell have you done?” cried Higgins.
“I’ve done something that should have been done a long time ago. I’m saving every species on this planet; it’s called… Worldwide interspecies sexual reproduction.”
“Sir, you’ve gone insane! Nobody will agree with your plans,” said Higgins.
Dr. Panos lifts up his shirt exposing his nipples and takes aim at the fat pathetic man. “Higgins, you will be having a child of your own soon. Your mate will be a German Shepard. Your son will be the greatest scientific achievement of all time. I will call him DOGBOY.”
The Movie Continues (against the audience’s will)
Dr. Panos would eventually succumb to his own demise for he himself had taken his science too far. He thought he could push the laws of science by mating with a pack of wolves. Shortly after entering the den in a naked frenzy, the good Dr. was ripped apart and turned into human meatloaf. Although the man behind the greatest scientific breakthrough had been devoured by feral beasts, his work would live on through his children, Dog Boy, Goatlegsman, Lesbaboonais, and his greatest creation Jackass-crab-alimanimal. No longer are Minotaurs the fiction of ancient Greek mythology, nor is Anubis just an ancient Egyptian Deity. Thanks to the works of Dr. Panos, all hell has broken loose on Earth, and mankind has been reduced to sloppy seconds…
There is no cure for Dr. Panos’ creations. Dog Boy survives and lives on through a legacy of humping. The only way to survive is to join the pack and become one of the Dr. Panos’ super beasts. Dr. Panos has mentioned that in his studies he has found a way to become immortal. He has found a way to live forever through the process of ingesting human flesh and fecal matter. Dr. Panos has also been known to be aware of the future. In fact he has seen two futures. One in which man is extinct, and the other in which mansquatch prevail, and he has done his best to make the latter happen.
In Dr. Panos’ own words: “Dogboy is my greatest accomplishment. He is a work of art, a new species I have created. He is the most interesting manimal in the world.”
Dr. Panos is a visionary who has taken the next step in evolution. He has created super-beings. He is the creator of the world’s first true genetic super heroes. He has done what many thought was impossible. He has created a new type of being that will live on long after we are extinct. He saved mankind in a way. His name is Dr. Panos, and he was the only hope for mankind. Men have become obsolete, and the only way to live on is to become part of the pack.
Join the pack. Become a beast. Save Mansquatchkind.
The movie is scheduled to receive 100% score from Rotten Tomatoes; obviously.
Review by Josey Blow’donell: I feel like they represent me. I envy their diversity and rabid morbidity. I wept at their unnatural beauty. I am in awe of their superhuman strength, agility, and endowment. The film was as graphic as it was enlightening. I will never look at my dog the same way again. I highly recommend this film to anyone with an open mind, and a strong stomach. 5 stars.
Review by Girth Almighty: This is the most important film of our generation. It is the greatest achievement in cinema, and possibly the greatest achievement in human history. It is a film that must be seen by all. I give it 5 out of 5 genitals.
For the most deprived and disgusting of Dogboy fans, a sequel was made: Dogboy 2: Rise of the Ardvarkians. (Password hint: “subterranean animals, superficially resembling gigantic worms or larva, with long, serpentine bodies.” — “Their heads consist of a massive, black, armored beak, which is used to push aside the dirt whilst digging. The beak opens up like a grotesque flower; it consists of a wide upper jaw, a thinner lower jaw, and a pair of hooked mandibles on either side, they measure three feet long. Whether they possess a skeleton or not is unknown, though a faux scientific document written by the Sci-Fi channel hypotheses they have a semi-rigid internal structure, similar to the internal cuttle-bones of certain cephalopods, such as cuttlefish.”)
*Disclaimer: Italic text in this hypothetical movie script is generated by AI.
*Disclaimer: Some of this story was generated through the use of AI. All italic text was created by the AI Writer.
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